Creative Definitions

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May 27, 2002
Canberra ACT Australia
1. Bozone (n.):
The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from
penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future.

2. Foreploy (v):
Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

3. Cashtration (n.):
The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially
impotent for an indefinite period.

4. Giraffiti (n):
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

5. Sarchasm (n):
The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't
get it.

6. Inoculatte (v):
To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

7. Hipatitis (n):
Terminal coolness.

8. Osteopornosis (n):
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

9. Karmageddon (n):
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes,
right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious

10. Decafalon (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that
are good for you.

11. Glibido (v):
All talk and no action.

12. Dopeler effect (n):
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you

13. Arachnoleptic fit (n.):
The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked
through a spider web.

14. Beelzebug (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at three in
the morning and cannot be cast out.

15. Caterpallor (n.):
The color you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.

And the pick of the literature:
16. Ignoranus (n):
A person who's both stupid and an ******* .
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