Brits v Aussies v Yanks v Canadians

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556
Location
Melbourne Australia
Aussie: Believe you should look out for your mates. Brits: Believe that you should look out for those people who belong to your club. Americans: Believe that people should look out for and take care of themselves. Canadians: Believe that that's the government's job. Aussies: Dislike being mistaken for Pommies (Brits) when abroad. Canadians: Are rather indignant about being mistaken for Americans when abroad. Americans: Encourage being mistaken for Canadians when abroad. Brits: Can't possibly be mistaken for anyone else when abroad. Americans: Spend most of their lives glued to the idiot box. Canadians: Don't, but only because they can't get more American channels. Brits: Pay a tax just so they can watch 4 channels. Aussies: Export all their crappy programs, which no one there watches, to Britain, where everybody loves them. Americans: Will jabber on incessantly about football, baseball and basketball. Brits: Will jabber on incessantly about cricket, soccer and rugby. Canadians: Will jabber on incessantly about hockey, hockey, hockey, and how they beat the Americans twice, playing baseball. Aussies: Will jabber on incessantly about how they beat the Poms in every sport they played them in. Americans: Spell words differently, but still call it "English." Brits: Pronounce their words differently, but still call it "English." Canadians: Spell like the Brits, pronounce like Americans. Aussies: Add "G'day", "mate," and a heavy accent to everything they say Aussies: Are extremely patriotic about their beer. Americans: Are flag-waving, anthem-singing, and obsessively patriotic to the point of blindness. Canadians: Can't agree on the words to their anthem, when they can be bothered to sing them. Brits: Do not sing at all but prefer a large brass band to perform the anthem. Americans: Drink weak, pissy-tasting beer. Canadians: Drink strong, pissy-tasting beer. Brits: Drink warm, beery-tasting **** . Aussies: Drink anything with alcohol in it. Brits: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their past citizens. Americans: Are justifiably proud of the accomplishments of their present citizens. Canadians: Prattle on about how some of those great Americans were once Canadian. Aussies: Wollow on about how some of their past citizens were once outlaw Pommies, but none of that matters after several beers. Americans: Seem to think that poverty and failure are morally suspect. Canadians: Seem to believe that wealth and success are morally suspect. Brits: Seem to believe that wealth, poverty, success and failure are inherited. Aussies: Seem to think that none of this matters after several beers. Canadians: Endure bitterly cold winters and are proud of it. Brits: Endure oppressively wet and dreary winters and are proud of it. Americans: Don't have to do either, and couldn't care less. Aussies: Don't understand what inclement weather means. Aussies: Have produced comedians like Paul Hogan and Yahoo Serious. Canadians: Have produced many great comedians, like John Candy, Martin Short, Jim Carrey, Dan Akroyd, and all the rest at SCTV. Americans: Think that these people are American! Brits: Have produced many great comedians, but Americans ignore them because they don't understand subtle humor.
 

pbm

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8,875
Location
New York
Very good, I enjoyed that. Aussies (like Americans, Pommies,and Canadians) should realize that some of their past great citizens were outlawed Irish.
 
Messages
47,765
Location
Duvall WA - Pacific NW USA
Americans need to be able to distinguish between, say, an Endinborough accent and an Aussie accent....and then realize that Scotland is, indeed, in Europe. I enjoyed the read! (some of those I had seen stand alone)
 

Losiho

Thread starter
Messages
556
Location
Melbourne Australia
Most Americans seem to have a problem with the Kiwi (New Zealand) accent. I was in Honolulu in 1996, and the locals were surprised that Aussies and Kiwis have different accents.
 
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