Assisted living? Independent living?

[Stelth]

Dad's getting old. And it's not the age itself that's the problem, it's his memory and reasoning abilities. He's ambulatory, and is able to do what's necessary to feed himself, thanks to Meals on Wheels. We've been trying to move him into a senior complex near us, where my mother-in-law lives, but the management there is so scatterbrained that it may never happen. He doesn't need a nursing home, but I fear that he's a prime candidate for scammers and other not-nice folks.

He's not driving now, which puts the onus on me to get him places, and that would also be easier if he were closer. He lives in a mobile home in a senior community, but he's lonely there, and, as I mentioned, probably not completely safe due to his reasoning abilities. He is able to water and trim his plants and whatnot, so he's not completely helpless, but he still needs help.

Any suggestions? Of course money is an issue, as it often is with old folks. He has some, but we don't want him to outlive it if we can help it.

 

[Ken42]

Ask your self is he a danger to himself?
I would go with an assisted living unit.
Call your state senior living representive for info
On places near you

 

[R80RS]

It's tough being in your situation. We had to move my FIL out of his small house about 15 years ago because he was no longer able to drive and was not keeping the property maintained. We found a nice senior complex that provided a variable level of assistance (but not nursing/medical assistance). I was concerned the loss of his house would be a blow to him, but he was greatly relieved of not having to do house work. He also really liked the increased socialization with plenty of folks his age. He's now in a nursing facility (age 98) with cognitive impairment.

The fact he needs meal and transportation assistance tells me your dad is a prime candidate for the sort of living arrangement you described. If the management at your preferred complex is "scatterbrained", can you find another place? If not, have you tried sitting down with them and telling them point blank "I'd like to move my Dad here, but I'm not getting a sense you are paying attention to our needs." Be polite but blunt and persistent.

I'd bet your dad would thrive with increased social interaction and relief from day-to-day chores. I wish you and him well.

 

[dparm]

Be very wary of "assisted living". They are not subject to the same laws as nursing homes.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/life-and-death-in-assisted-living/

 

[BISCUT]

Originally Posted By: dparm
Be very wary of "assisted living". They are not subject to the same laws as nursing homes.

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/life-and-death-in-assisted-living/


+1

I'm in a situation as well buddy. If you want to talk or need advice, PM at will or email. There are SOOOOOO many facets to consider. The simple is no longer simple.

 

[eljefino]

If their management seems scatterbrained now, stay away. Just wait till they hold your money and pop.

My grandparents lived in a manufactured village with assisted living on one side and nursing care on the other, so as they aged on they could move across the street. They "let them" put up wallpaper in their rental as the penalty was assessed after they passed away.

This is something we as a society are blundering through and it's not the sort of career path that gets enough attention and aspiration.

 

[Donald]

Originally Posted By: Stelth
Dad's getting old. And it's not the age itself that's the problem, it's his memory and reasoning abilities. He's ambulatory, and is able to do what's necessary to feed himself, thanks to Meals on Wheels. We've been trying to move him into a senior complex near us, where my mother-in-law lives, but the management there is so scatterbrained that it may never happen. He doesn't need a nursing home, but I fear that he's a prime candidate for scammers and other not-nice folks.

He's not driving now, which puts the onus on me to get him places, and that would also be easier if he were closer. He lives in a mobile home in a senior community, but he's lonely there, and, as I mentioned, probably not completely safe due to his reasoning abilities. He is able to water and trim his plants and whatnot, so he's not completely helpless, but he still needs help.

Any suggestions? Of course money is an issue, as it often is with old folks. He has some, but we don't want him to outlive it if we can help it.


Make sure you get POA before you need it.

Sounds like assisted living. Does he drive?

 

[andyd]

Mum is in one across town. She is happy with her sewing and knitting and her exercise bike. My sibs and I are relieved. The old homestead was getting decrepit and kept trying to do her in.

 

[Stelth]

Originally Posted By: Donald
Originally Posted By: Stelth
Dad's getting old. And it's not the age itself that's the problem, it's his memory and reasoning abilities. He's ambulatory, and is able to do what's necessary to feed himself, thanks to Meals on Wheels. We've been trying to move him into a senior complex near us, where my mother-in-law lives, but the management there is so scatterbrained that it may never happen. He doesn't need a nursing home, but I fear that he's a prime candidate for scammers and other not-nice folks.

He's not driving now, which puts the onus on me to get him places, and that would also be easier if he were closer. He lives in a mobile home in a senior community, but he's lonely there, and, as I mentioned, probably not completely safe due to his reasoning abilities. He is able to water and trim his plants and whatnot, so he's not completely helpless, but he still needs help.

Any suggestions? Of course money is an issue, as it often is with old folks. He has some, but we don't want him to outlive it if we can help it.


Make sure you get POA before you need it.

Sounds like assisted living. Does he drive?


POA is a good idea. He's not driving now.