He cannot drive, but does use this excuse.........he can play video games just fine.
Age to cut the kids off.
- Thread starter burbguy82
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Kudos to you!!! Not every 69 y.o. can say the same. I know plenty who are a decade or two behind you, but are ready to retire, stop learning, and drink beer until death swings by.
I guess small clarification is in order on that statement. "By age 25 one has formed as a person". I learn something new everyday, and make mistakes every day. But if I close my eyes and forget my age - my mind feels like its age is low-20s. I've brought this up with many folks that are decades older, yet they all say the same: body is aging, but mind feels young and frozen in low-20s.
So the "learning" portion of my original statement cut a little deeper than basic tasks in daily life. It is more of learning how to human, be a decent person, learning principles of life... And all that will have constant effect on the smaller daily grind stuff and rest of one's life.
Never; life changes.
I think money should skip a generation.
All the money that we inherited from our parents went straight to our kids to cover university costs so I can honestly say I didn't personally spend a penny on myself. I'm doing the same thing with my grandchildren by building up a fund which they can't access until they are 18 and by then it will be a substantial sum that will fully fund University attendance.
The original premise of this thread was are we doing kids or grandkids for that matter any favours by throwing money at them. I think there has to be a focus for the money such as University costs or perhaps a house deposit that gives them a leg up in life. Funding idleness would not be doing them any favours.
All the money that we inherited from our parents went straight to our kids to cover university costs so I can honestly say I didn't personally spend a penny on myself. I'm doing the same thing with my grandchildren by building up a fund which they can't access until they are 18 and by then it will be a substantial sum that will fully fund University attendance.
The original premise of this thread was are we doing kids or grandkids for that matter any favours by throwing money at them. I think there has to be a focus for the money such as University costs or perhaps a house deposit that gives them a leg up in life. Funding idleness would not be doing them any favours.
I would definitely talk to your wife and emphasize he needs to work even if it’s part time and 25 hours per week.
In real life, not in cyber world, I think i am a really good friend to have......which is to say that for my friends (which are few), I will move mountains, and burn forests to the ground, if they need it.............that is to say, if they are willing to do it for themselves.
I feel the same ways you do.
Yes! Same here
Completely agree, you ARE a good friend to have.
The hard part of being a parent, though, is that you aren’t a friend. It’s an important distinction, and a fine line, but being a parent, and that includes step parent, is not a popularity contest.
The biggest mistake a parent can make is to try and be popular with the kids. I think that’s happening here - not you, but your wife.
I have three step kids. I have had to walk this line, and it’s made harder by the fact that you aren’t related by blood. You can’t push too hard.
But you set the example - you set the standards - and you hold them accountable.
I think I said so earlier , but 100% agree. If not that has to be resolved.
Sometimes it is just difficult to undo past mistakes.
I agree. Point being was I would do nearly anything for someone in my camp, who was willing to do for themselves.....but first they must be willing to do for themselves.......to me that is a key component......maybe the most important one.....and it is missing.
My two oldest daughters went off to college came home and within a year they both had jobs in Manhattan shared a apartment in downtown Manhattan. They were used to being on their own didn't want to live under my rules and that was great. I actually would go visit them on the weekends and crash on the couch for the overnight head home after breakfast. They were able to pull it off because they were debt free thanks to Dad paying for college. My little one last year of college my gut is telling me I'm going to looking at her for awhile when she graduates she's a different animal. Crazy how there so different but grew up same house same rules. She can stay as long as she wants as long as she doesn't start trouble I like peace in the house and thankfully she's peaceful n fun
Depends on what reason they are loathing off you. Do they spend their time looking for work, seeking a good degree to begin with, have medical need, working but stay home to save money and help out financially, etc?
I probably would cut them off when they wanted to get a loan to a degree with no future initially (i.e. women study or communication). If you wait till they graduate it is probably too late.
I have no problem with kids living at home till marriage if they are paying me rent and buy part of the groceries.
I probably would cut them off when they wanted to get a loan to a degree with no future initially (i.e. women study or communication). If you wait till they graduate it is probably too late.
I have no problem with kids living at home till marriage if they are paying me rent and buy part of the groceries.
I have no answers but humor... Can it start at 17 and 14? They eat alot and smell bad. I thought one teenage boy smells bad but two makes the nose hairs curl and fall out. Close to putting a exhaust fan in their room, that'll make the next owners ask questions.
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