A Tale of Enemas and Alcohol

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From the Darwin Awards:

****************************************

The Enema Within
2007 Darwin Award Nominee
Confirmed True by Darwin



(21 May 2004, Texas) Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.

The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one [censored] of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.
 
So old Michael was sitting at home when one of his old drinking buddies brought over a bottle of sherry.

Michael, being the alcoholic he was and in serious withdrawal because he was unable to drink alcohol said to his friend. "What in the [censored] do you expect me to do with this."

His friend, miffed at the cold reception his gift had received, replied "shove it up your ***"

And it was all downhill from there.
 
Well it would be downhill, it wouldn't flow uphill...
whistle.gif
 
Originally Posted By: mechtech2
How do the Police give a guy like that a breathalizer test?



The alcohol in the blood is passed through the membrane in the lungs and can be detected with a breathalizer.


BTW - I dont think that story is 100% correct. I read something similar in the news paper.

The guy (who had many DUI violations) had been on a court order to take medication to stop his alcoholism. The medication makes you very sick if there is alcohol in your stomach. The guy would have his wife give him an emema with alcohol in it. Something happened and the guy got too much, either because there was too much % alcohol in the wine or he got to much wine. But the wife was arrested for murder. I dont know if she was convicted. supposedly, he was unable to give himeself an enema, so he didn't remove himself from the gene pool. his wife did it for him.
 
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