A Retired Mind

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London, AR
Subject: Ramblings of a Retired Mind I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped on. I can't afford one. So, I'm wearing my garage door opener. You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized, why bother, people didn't like me anyway. It occurred to me that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans! I was thinking about old age and decided that it is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it'. I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust." I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers! I know, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!" Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "911". Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do -- write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they deliver the mail? I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then, it dawned on me, they were cramming for their finals. As for me, I'm just hoping God grades on a curve. How did I get Over The Hill? when I never got to the top?? I have been told there is sex after 50! Once you get over the shock of seeing someone your own age naked! I hear tell there's a cure for those nasty ole age wrinkles! All you do is keep eating until they fill in! [Cheers!]
 
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