Bartender says "we don't serve string".
String goes outside, does some yogic moves, ruffles up his "hair" and walks back in.
Bartender says "Aren't you that piece of string I wouldn't serve earlier ?'
String says "I'm a frayed knot"
"Give me a beer before problems start!" Again, the man orders a beer again saying, "Give me a beer before problems start!" The bartender looks confused. This goes on for a while, and after the fifth beer the bartender is totally confused and asks the man, "When are you going to pay for these beers?" The man answers, "Ah, now the problems start!"
Was in a bar one time, and this somewhat tipsy guy walked up to the lady sitting next to me and started to hit on her.
She looked at him and said "I already have one a..hole in my pants. I don't want another."
After the laughter died down, she got free drinks till she left.