12. CEO's are now playing miniature golf. 11. I got a pre-declined credit card in the mail. 10. I went to buy a toaster oven and they gave me a bank. 9. Hotwheels and Matchbox car companies are now trading higher than GM in the stock market. 8. Government met with small businesses GE, Pfizer, Chrysler, Citigroup, and GM to discuss the Stimulus Package. 7. McDonald's is selling the 1/4 ouncer. 6. People in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and are learning their children's names. 5. The most highly-paid job is now jury duty. 4. People in Africa are donating money to Americans. Mothers in Ethiopia are telling their kids, "finish your plate; do you know how many kids are starving in America?" 3. Motel Six won't leave the lights on. 2. The mafia is laying off judges. 1. If the bank returns your check marked as "insufficient funds," you have to call them and ask if they meant you or them.