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    Funny Page OCIs

    Is there a cartoonist in our midst? http://www.gocomics.com/adamathome/2010/05/07
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    Men vs women

    A woman was cleaning out her attic one day when she stumbled upon some old black-and-white photos of her and her husband when they were first dating. Her eyes got misty as she recalled the affection they'd shared so many years ago. She decided to show them to her husband when he got home as a...
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    How did you *decide on* your wife?

    In honor of the similar recently-revived thread... I'm looking to propose to my girlfriend next weekend (it's her birthday). She's an awesome girl, but part of me is just scared poopless. I've lived at home all my life, and the thought of mortgages and kids is enough to send me running for the...
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    The Perfect Couple

    A perfect man and a perfect woman had a perfect wedding and went on a perfect honeymoon around Christmas time. They were driving along in their perfect car when they saw a hitchhiker at the side of the road. It was Santa! Seems he had gotten separated from his sleigh and needed a ride. So they...
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    Putting Your Affairs In Order II

    An old man visits the doctor for his yearly checkup. The doctor looks somberly at his test results and says, "I'm very sorry, but I'm afraid you've got Yellow 24." "What's that?" the man replies. "It's a very rare disease. It turns your skin and internal organs a yellowish color, and it is...
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    A truly epic fail

    Would you like a bowl of 404 Page Not Found with that?
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    Exhaust rustproofing

    After my last exhaust system rusted out within 4-5 years, I'm looking at ideas on making the new one last longer. Seems like someone must make a protective coating. I was checking out some high-temperature paint at the auto store. Says it's good up to 1500 F and they have a clear coat version...
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    Short but sweet

    The wife complained, "I don't understand why you feel so negatively about my relatives." The husband replied, "I think your relatives are perfectly fine. In fact, I like your in-laws much more than I like my own."
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    UOA: How It's Done

    A very technical overview of how oil samples get analyzed in the lab. Much of it may make your eyes glaze over, but the first couple pages should be understandable to most folks. It has a good list of the sources of various wear metals and a very extensive bibliography...
  10. V

    Shell Instant Oil Analysis

    I haven't heard this mentioned here before. Seems like it may be for fleet owners only, but still... www.shell.com/static/ca-en/downloads/shell_for_businesses/transport/osa_sheet.pdf "Shell Instant Oil Analysis, the only service of its kind in Canada, uses the On-Site Analyzer (OSA) machine to...
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    A Darwin in the making

    Driving home from work tonight, behind some generic-looking thing, maybe an Explorer. Sit there for a while, then I notice his gas flap is open. Oh well, no doubt he's got the interior lid screwed on. Drive a little longer, then I notice I can see the interior lid is hanging from a little...
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    This one's for the married men

    A husband brought his wife a glass of water and two aspirins as she sat reading a magazine in bed. She looked up at him, puzzled, and said, "But I don't have a headache!" The husband exclaimed "Aha!"
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    To Bars or not to Bars?

    My Metro has developed a small coolant leak. It has never lost a drop of coolant since I bought it in 2001, but I took it in for a rebuild a few months ago and since then I've lost a couple cups worth of coolant. Dollars to donuts that they didn't quite put on the new head gasket properly. No...
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    Lucas oil at Canadian Tire

    Not sure if anyone posted this yet, but I was at Canadian Tire yesterday and saw that they've started stocking Lucas oil. The only type they had out was 5W20 synthetic. Not even a price sticker out yet, just a "NEW" sign. It was in the spot where the Amsoil 0W30 used to be, I suppose they've...
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    Why Men Don't Write Advice Columns

    Dear Walter: I hope you can help me. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching the TV as usual. I hadn't gone more than a mile down the road when my engine conked out and the car shuddered to a halt. I walked back home to get my husband's help. When I got home I...
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    Crystal oil

    Maybe he means it's sludge that's dried up, like graphite or charcoal powder. Not gooey like "normal" sludge. Some kind of overheating problem?
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    Another Zddp additive?

    Can't find the thread now, but I recall someone posting the structure of a typical ZDDP molecule and I think the zinc was something like 10-20% of the total molecular weight. So 30,000 ppm ZDDP would show maybe 5,000 ppm Zn in a VOA.
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    Honda dealer doesn't "believe" in the OLM

    As someone mentioned a little while ago, ask the dealer to send you a letter on dealership letterhead listing all the maintenance procedures where the manual is wrong and the dealer is right, then send a copy to the Honda regional office. Then stand back.
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    My brakes are... creaking?

    I had new front pads and rotors put on my car a few weeks ago. Most of the time everything is fine, but every so often as I pull up to a stop light I hear a creaking noise that wasn't there before. Not a squeal, definitely a creak. If I go slowly enough, I can hear it slowly creak for a second...
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    Change fluid or not?

    Car is a 94 Geo Metro, manual. About 176,000 km on odometer. As far as I know it still has the factory transmission fluid in it... at least I haven't changed it since I bought it in 2001. My maintenance schedule has some contradictory advice (bolded by me): "For manual transaxles, fluid...
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