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Any idea what the money light is about or no?

https://www.rockauto.com/en/moreinfo.php?pk=79765&cc=1019876&pt=2200&jsn=940&_nck=RaosfcaC2rGu3zlfSTLDkcJWiT3ec2%2F8FJ5%2F6EIE7m5rF9%2BgPDHXesVcKo2pLeGjNLi5O7PTjj2XaB2MVmlhu%2FKsKiKeg5ruP0v5RhdQAdC2ysNNg2cCN47tUrrKsHw1RHM8ndnDl2eUZgplmmBPSmR0fAI52bN9jSQRnCL8%2F%2FnybtFO5cXP4uk2OBfBWdPp%2FyDXkMQ6f...

My 98 doing stuff…

Series III 3800's got a redesigned intake manifold, both upper and lower were now aluminum.

There are a few TSB's about it, varying by models and year ranges. https://static.nhtsa.gov/odi/tsbs/2020/MC-10183161-9999.pdf My wife's 2013 Equinox has always had it. Lots of talk about it in the Equinox/Traverse/GM-equivalent forums.

If it wasn’t for the annoying 2-3 shift flare that is apparently “normal”…for the most part, it’s a fine transmission.

Good deal, no signs of that to date on the Equinox thankfully.

What leads to the cam phasers failing prematurely? Extended OCIs/lack thereof or design fault?

That would be the LLT version of the 3.6. This vehicle has the next version, the LFX which resolved that as well as other improvements.

I ran that exact Castrol in my 98 K1500 for a OCI which resolved my RMS issue. I specifically wanted a HM 40 weight, not a thing for the 15w-xx flavors. No complaints about it, started fine in single digit winter weather here in MN.

The lines aren’t too bad to replace, I did both of mine ~20 years ago. But yes, to your point, they all seem to start leaking at some point.

How did the return line get blocked?

Just get a jug of M1 0w-40 at Wally World for $28 and be done with it. It has all the vitamins and minerals that your 5.3 need and will raise oil pressure slightly to boot. As mentioned, no need to worry about zinc levels beyond what’s already in any off the shelf oil.

Even the Indonesian made Tokyo Roki’s are quality builds, there have been a few C&P’s of them. Appear to be on par with PG-based filters. I have one on my Outback currently, no complaints.

So in conclusion, what we have learned is that Fram’s QC is a hot dumpster fire and Walmart’s QC continues to be par for the course.

I'd stick with the 5w-30 if that's been working for you. I've run everything from 0w-30 up to 10w-40 in my '98 with no real difference noticed other than hot oil pressure being slightly higher with the 40 weights. I settled with M1 0w-40 and like it.

With enough skill/smarts/crazy, sure: https://www.enginelabs.com/engine-tech/the-equal-8-inside-dan-jesels-new-clean-sheet-12000-rpm-v8/ https://www.thedrive.com/news/31352/an-11230-rpm-ls7-v-8-is-pure-madness-you-need-to-hear-to-believe

How so?

From what I have seen/read on here, I believe both are regarded well. I am no expert on either though, so perhaps someone else can speak more to their offerings.