Did you steal my dipstick? That looks exactly like the one from my Subaru, complete with the blackening sanded off. Mine would be that colour after 10000 km.
What if someone is drunk and enters your home by mistake? Would you still feel the same level of threat?
Maybe a home taser would be a good idea. You can use it to instantly disable an intruder and then check to see if he had bad intentions.
I've have got one too. The gasoline use readings are likely bogus, since my trips to work consume exactly the same amount every time, within 0.01 litres.